Valentine’s Day Doesn't Have to Suck!

Fight the Valentine's Day blues

By Jennifer J. Baumgartner, Psy.D.

Here are four sure fire ways to fight the Valentine's Day blues with your wardrobe from someone who has been there.

Love yourself: If you have ever been on a plane, you have learned an invaluable lesson about love. The stewardess states that you must first take the oxygen before you help another with their mask. You must first love yourself in order to love another. Most spiritual teachings, which include those from Western organized religions to Eastern practices, state that you must love another like you would want to be loved. You can only know how you would want to be loved if you first loved yourself! One of the easiest ways to show yourself love is to dress yourself well. Putting on a flattering dress, sparkly necklace, or red lipstick can make anyone feel better. This is just a small step to be kind to you. Be your own Valentine!

Others need love, too: Do you think you are the only one who didn't get a card or date? Guess what: you're not! Look around and you will find others who feel left out, unloved, and embarrassed. You may feel burned by this holiday, but you are not alone and you can still give love to others. Help a friend who may feel down on this Hallmark holiday. Plan to go dancing, bake some cookies, or buy a card. Have a clothing exchange, go shopping for a hot outfit, or help your friend dress her best. If you can help someone feel loved on this day you have not only done a good deed but you have taken back you power.

Validate yourself: We measure our worth by our income, facebook friend stats, and number of admirers. The number of boyfriends, girlfriends, kisses, cards, and candy don't measure your worth. The number of wrinkles and pounds don't matter. The true measure of your worth comes from your intangible internal qualities. Examine your character, ability to love, value to the world, perseverance, struggles, and successes. You will not find your value in the mirror and in the eyes of others. You will find it when you allow yourself to make mistakes, when you help another, when you do the right thing when no one is watching, when you experience joy, and when you are at peace. Once you have examined that you are worth it internally THEN focus on the external self to match the inside. Dress as the beautiful human being that you are. If you feel like you are a bubbly spirit wear the sparkles and glitter on Valentine's Day. If you feel like you are the thoughtful introvert, then wear the soft pastels. Celebrate you and the season of love!

Employ your power: On Valentine's Day, waiting passively for someone to acknowledge you is not power. Move to action and take control of the day. Maybe this means throwing a party, making cards for friends and family, covering yourself in glitter, eating a box of chocolates, painting your face with pink hearts, or sending anonymous love notes. Sitting and waiting for things to happen to you eliminates your power. This may include going through your old worn out wardrobe and ditching the contents. This may mean replacing the neutrals with fire engine red or hot pink! Take back your strength and make this day your own.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!